Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Snapping Got Me the Hairbrush :(

Thank you to all my readers for your patience while I focused on my busy schedule over this long weekend.  I responded to all of your comments on the last two posts so if you commented head over to them to check our my repsonses.  I appreciated everyone's comments of support always.  My husband is still getting the new schedule but it's going to be a little later than originally anticipated.  They have to work just a couple of kinks the popped up.  It will happen shortly after we return from our trip which we're leaving on in a couple of weeks anyway so we won't even notice the extended timeline.

So anyways, over my long weekend I received a punishment and here's the story for you all and for John as there's an important message for him in it from me.  Enjoy!

We were at church this past Sunday morning.  Neither one of us had gotten much sleep so far over the weekend and we weren't done yet.  He had asked a simple question.  He wanted to know if I'd be OK with us skipping Sunday school.  I got really upset and whiny and maybe a bit snippy.  He was just too tired to deal with my irrational behavior, so he shut me out.  After we got all the kids dropped off at their Sunday school classes and before we got to ours, he pulled me aside and said very sternly "I will deal with you later".  The strange thing is a part of me actually felt releived.  We both ended up enjoying Sunday school but were ready for bed by the time we headed home.

Once we got home there was no punishment.  I understood that, we'd both been up all night.  What got me upset again was that he said he felt he had baited me and there would be no punishment at all.  I was really upset about this and I began to shut down emotionally.  I began to feel like he wasn't taking this dynamic seriously, our marriage seriously or me seriously. 

After we woke up he finally dragged it out of me what I was feeling.  He told me that since he was tired, he felt that he had mistook what I had said, but since I seemed to agree my attitude was out of line, he decided to spank me for it.  So out to the garage we went.  I was thinking "wait, no actually I think I'm good now, glad we had this talk now let's cuddle before you have to go to work".  I confuse even myself sometimes.

It hurt...a lot.  He used his hand, the ping pong paddle and that stupid hairbrush.  There was barely even a warmup if you could call it that.  For some reason all my logical reasoning goes out of the window during a spanking.  Is it really smart to yell at your HOH that he's spanking you wrong while bare bottomed over his lap with a hairbrush in his hand?  It's not?  Oops!  Yeah I did yell at him.  I yelled at him for spanking too hard, for not doing a warmup and didn't he remember it'd been a while since my last maintanence?  The I shouted at him "you just don't care do you?".  That's when he grabbed my hip, pulled me in and continued spanking but now it was faster and harder.  :(  I went limp and began to cry.  I know it's in those moments he probably doubts himself and wonder if he should be more lenient.  In case he has any doubts about continuing on after I yelled at him that he didn't care, I want him to know that it was somewhat comforting to me that he didn't let me take over and end the spanking then.  I'm glad he continued until I got that release I needed.   I stopped fighting him and flailing around then.  It ended pretty quickly.

Afterward, I felt at peace and I was glad he had continued after I yelled at him.  He does listen to me.  :)  He said I was glowing after the spanking and he was just talking about my bottom.  He says I just get the air about me afterwards like I'm floating on a cloud and in a lot of ways, I feel like I'm floating.

12 comments:

  1. I have yelled at my husband, and yeah- not a good plan during a spanking. I'm glad you guys resolved things.

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    1. Thanks, Stormy! Sometimes I have to wonder what I was thinking when I yell at him during a spanking.

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  2. *sigh*

    Oh, Suzie. This does not sound fun at all and seems to be becoming a pattern.

    Have you thought about making an arrangement where in these cases you can ask for a spanking? Then your husband can be sure that he is not being too lenient/unfair/too harsh, etc. That will also help you to get the spanking you need without him feeling guilty at punishing you when he was part of it.

    Thought, part of this kind of arrangement is not meant to be fair. He spanks; you don't. That's not "fair" already. So if he is crabby, he does not get spanked. If you are crabby, you do. It's not "fair", but this isn't meant to be fair as in equal. He is not perfect, he will make mistakes, and he is holding himself to a high standard. But...if you were upset to the point of yelling (both of you) then isn't it better to take the "not fair" route and cut it off at the pass, as we might say? That might be a better way to look at it than fair vs. not fair. Fair or not, it works and it works pre-emptively. Bottom line (pun intended)? Clearer communication and less upset/hurt feelings. Isn't that worth it?

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    1. I think he's more worried about "fair" than I am. He's slowly coming around though. I think we still have a ways to go in our journey, but we've come a long ways as well.

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    2. http://lizziemcfizzy.blogspot.com/2011/11/te-of-brat.html#comment-form

      Suzie, I know this is a different dynamic than you and John use...but it might still be helpful. Plus there is a link to the "Tao of a Top" post on another blog...I think both might be good reading for the two of you when you talk about fair/unfair and so on. It's clear John is very worried about being fair, and this might help. :) Hugs.

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  3. I used to feel really badly about that "angry" phase of a spanking. It seemed unfair to my husband. After all, I deserved what I was getting, shouldn't I just accept it? As I've read and interacted with lots of women out here, most of us go through it a lot of the time. It took my husband a few times to not take it personally and do what John did...keep going. Now he knows it really has nothing to do with him and is part of working up to that really good release which I need.

    Floaty is good!!! :)

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    1. Yeah it was something I figured out early on that I need to get past that phase to get to the release I so need. I think it's hard on him but he's growing. :)

      And yes, floaty is good

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    2. Well the first time or two was hard, you know i was tring to find myself and deal with everything at the same time. But now i have grown and know to just keep going! I have to get her to the point and make her quit fighting before she can reach the point she needs. There are time i wish she would just come out and say hay asshole i need you to spank me and i mean now or my world is going to fall apart!

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  4. What is it about this time of year? I feel like things have been super hectic around here lately too. I am glad he held strong for you and gave you what you needed...even if you changed your mind there at the end, he wasn't swayed and that's a good thing!

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    1. I think it's the end of the school year and the beginning of the summer that makes things so hectic.

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  5. Ouch, that sounds harsh! But how amazing is that release of tension, the glow, the rush of emotions... :)

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    1. It is amazing, sometimes I wish I could get those feelings without a stinkin' spanking.

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