However, I somehow earned a spanking today. It was a punishment spanking per se, but it was definitely not what I wanted to do at the moment.
You ever have a spanking that just pisses you off at first. This one did. I woke up grumpy this morning (from lack of sleep all weekend?) and I didn't want to be bothered with anything and especially not a
I think it's my reaction after the spanking that freaks him out the most these days. After, I kind of pout a little. Maybe shut down. I don't feel shut down but I don't talk about what I'm feeling because to be honest I don't fully understand it. I feel pouty for no reason, I feel like I screwed up and I don't really want to end up OTK again.
Before I could be comforted back to a normal temperament, the baby (who's not a baby) had an accident in her pants so John took her to clean her up and I began cleaning the mess on the floor. When he returned he said "Baby, I was going to do that" this made me frown a little at him. I hadn't intended to and wasn't really aware I had done it but he sent me back to the room anyway. I went in and began to cry. He said "Baby, what's wrong" and I blubbered out "I don't want to get spanked again" He said he wouldn't and laid down with me in our bed to cuddle a little. I began feeling better and I'm not a grump anymore.
Note to John: After this spanking today I feel much more awake or alert or whatever I wasn't feeling earlier, definitely less grumpy or annoyed, not motivated though (not sure where that went) and I feel much more relaxed right now. Things just feel right when they didn't earlier. Thanks for that.