I asked for Dd. I asked him to take charge, to make the rules and to hold me accountable. I asked him to spank, both for reconnect and for discipline. I continue to ask for him to be strict with me, not to let things slide. Why?
It's not that I'm flighty, inconsistent or immature. I keep a clean house, take care of the kids, cook, keep schedules, allow my husband "guy" time. I'm the "perfect" wife by any 1950s sitcom's standards. So, what's the problem?
I try so hard to be the perfect wife, only I'm not in a 1950s sitcom married to some television charactar made up in some person's mind. I'm married to my husband, a real man in 2012 in the real world and I truly desire to be his perfect wife, only I don't know (or I didn't know) what that is. I needed his guidance to help me find it and Dd was the path we chose to take. Are there other paths? Sure! But we chose Dd, together, as a couple.
Interestingly enough, he did not know what his perfect wife should act like before we started this journey because, well, in today's culture it's not OK for a man to think about stuff like that, but I wanted so bad to please him and not knowing what he wanted left me hanging and frustrated. Now I have clear guidelines for what he wants in a wife. What's important to him and what he doesn't care ass much about. Knowing exactly what he wants has allowed me the confidence to be his perfect wife. That's not to say that I must do anything that makes me feel uncomfortable, because he doesn't want me to feel used or anything along those lines, but now I know what he wants and I can give him the gift of my submission.
John's perfect wife takes time to care for herself. She makes time for herself to do what she wants. She includes him in the household duties when he's available and handles them when he's not. She irons his shirts and folds the socks but doesn't clean the kids' rooms. She allows them to do it and if they don't, she allows him to deal with the kids, not go in and do it herself. She allows him to sweep the floors while she switches laundry over, thus allowing more couple time. She allows him to bathe the kids and tuck them in because he misses that. I never knew that all that time I'd spent doing all the work so that he wouldn't have to, I was making him feel excluded from the family.
Also, since I'm not allowed to distance from him or shut him out anymore (this is a spankable offense) we have opened up the lines of communication between us. I'm not perfect at this area yet, but I've improved and he now knows my feeling and what's important to me. He strives to give me what I want as well. He even puts his dirty cloths in the hamper now rather than on the floor.
We've still got a long way to go and we're far from perfect, but we've come so far in such a short period of time it makes it all seem so worth it.