Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Update

John has challenged me to make 5 new friends in a month.  Why the challenge?  Well, because I have a hard time making friends.

I was in an abusive relationship several years ago with my former fiance and son's father.  During the 2 years of this relationship I was isolated and wasn't allowed to talk to the friends I had at the time or make new ones.

A part of me has held on to some of that "I'm not worthy" mentality that my former fiance instilled in me and it's really difficult for me to step out of my shell and just simply say "hi" then see where that goes.

So far I've made 3 friends!  Yay!  One from work and 2 women I kind of knew but never really did anything with them.

The definition of what makes a friend is completely up to me, but I'm not allowed to cheat just to make my quota.  I have to really feel like I've made a new friend.

Actually, now that I think of it, there's 2 people on blogger I feel I've connected with on some level.  I may not be ready to go out a meet anyone, but I do feel like I've made some new friends here.  Even if I don't know their real names, so thank you Susie and Ana.  I think I've made my quota!  :)

It wasn't a spankable offense, but my husband loves watching me step out of my shell and become more like the me I want to be.  He fell in love with a wonderful woman 3 years ago and that woman just keeps getting better and Dd has certainly helped that.  It makes me feel more feminine and who would have thought I'd actually enjoy that.

Date night was awesome, the concert was so much fun and I actually mingled with other people there which is completely new to me, so there's another plus.

And I missed 1 day on my iron since my last post but since I took it since then, John is going to just let this one go with a warning.  He's such a fair man.  :)

5 comments:

  1. My husband is always pushing me outside of my shell, my comfort zone as well Suzie. It's tough sometimes...but worth it!

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    1. I love becoming this new version of me. I'm so lucky to have a wonderful husband to help me find who I am.

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  2. I like your husband...what a good idea. Making new friends is hard work. Three is actually really impressive.

    I'm also very honored to have made it on your friend list! :)

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    1. I kinda like him too ;)

      And I love all the support I get from you, you're always so positive!

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  3. What an honor! Thank you, dear. I am so glad to have met you and to connect. It is hard for me to make friends, too. I'm a little bit high-maintenance. :P One of the best friend-making pieces of advice I have received is to find people you can do certain things with. So, for example, I have a friend I like to do X with even though we would never cross paths in any other context. I have another friend I used to do Y with but have now become able to do X with. Neither of them are best friend or heart-to-heart friend material, but we can do something together and not kill each other. :P

    The self-esteem part and thinking no one will like you is hard. I don't think it ever goes away, but as you get to know more people it does get a little better. One thing that helps me is to think about what might be nice for the other person...if I am "helping" then I am less self-conscious and less shy. Except sometimes I do this too much and then it causes other problems, but that's another story for another day.

    Hugs.

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