Caught in Maintanence

I received a maintenance last night and this is what happened...

My thought process was a little different this time.  I really wanted to submit and worked very hard at it.  I can't say I succeeded with flying colors but I did OK.  I kept trying to do breathing exercises to relax and submit and I kept thinking "this is my husband and I love and trust him so just relax".  I finally hit the tears phase and he grabbed me into him and I just laid there on his chest and I felt so at peace and in love with him. 

He then began to bend me over for other fun activities but just then my son popped his head in one of the windows!  Eek!  After he ran off I heard voices outside.  John said my son was out there talking to a neighbor, so now I'm freaking out.  Did my son hear the spanking?  Did the neighbor?  What does everyone know?  Yikes!  As we walked out of the garage, John waved at the neighbor my son had been talking to, but I was too embarrassed to look at him.  I just knew he knew something.

After, John and I were leaving to head out with some friends and as we drove past our front porch, our son was out there and he just waved at us all happy and smiles.  Does he know anything?

This is the way I figure it.  If my son thought he had heard a spanking, I'm sure he would have said something to us along the lines of "Mommy, why was Daddy spanking you?" or "What was Daddy doing to you in there?".  I figure since he didn't say anything (I'm pretty sure he's used to us having sex now as he's the one who always catches us), he didn't hear the spanking or suspect anything along those lines.  And if he didn't hear it, then it's pretty safe to say the neighbor didn't hear it.  Right?  Geeze, I hope that's right.

But, no one called to cops on us, so that's probably a pretty good sign, right?

OK, now after that story, I want to process through why I think I need a spanking marriage.  Is it the male dominance that I find so damn sexy?  Maybe.  But I have been working on a more submissive role as wife and praying for my husband to take charge in our family since before I even knew what Dd was.  So this leads me to think that there may be women out there who desire a strong authoritative man who leads the family, they may be submissive wives and have other ways of enforcing this dynamic but have no desire for a spanking and would leave if one ever took place (maybe).  So, to us Dd wives, we need the dynamic to be enforced with spanking and other forms of discipline.  And to take it a step further, we want spankings even when we're not in trouble.  Maintenance anyone?  I have to wonder why?  I think there's something that happens to me when I fully give myself over to him.  It's a trust thing to.  I essentially give myself over for a spanking and I allow him an implement.  I don't know, I certainly don't have any answers, just a crazy brain trying to process the whys of it all.

Any ideas from any readers out there?