So I made the second deadline :) My app is filled out and ready to turn in Monday complete with resume and phone number!
Maintenance went well the other day. We started by just talking. We have an upcoming trip on which we'll get to see an old friend of mine. She's been married to her husband since she was 16 and she's the same age as me (late 20s). We were talking about how they're still happily married after all these years and how she posts things about her husband that are similar in tone to what I post about mine and I've only been married for a short period of time, we'd even still be considered newly weds (I think, when is the cut off anyways?).
This led into us talking about our marriage and how we feel we have what it takes to make our marriage last. I know most people don't start their marriage thinking of the end and they all believe they have what it takes, but I truly believe we do. What is it that we have? Dd :) OK, actually that was a joke (sort of), what we have is the belief that marriages don't just work but they take work. They take a conscious effort from both people to fight for their marriage no matter what (and believe me when I tell you I feel we've had to fight harder than most newly weds do [key words "I feel"]). As long as we both fight, we'll never lose. There are a million and one things out there; people, ex-wives, jobs, society, life; that are working against our marriage and we have got to work for it not expect it to work for us.
A couple of examples we actually sited in our talk:
1) In the beginning, when John and I would fight, I would talk to my daughter's father. Now before anyone jumps to the wrong conclusion about this, I actually had good intentions. I talked to him because he always had my best interests at heart but he could offer the male perspective. He's always been for my marriage with John and defended John while protecting my feelings. He always sent me back to him. I talked to him because I trusted he wouldn't try to end my marriage and I needed to vent to someone who wouldn't bash my husband and call him a jerk or take advantage of my vulnerable situation. My daughter's father was actually the friend from the "not interested" posts who convinced me to give John a chance. I'll get more into our friendship another time, but for now, trust me when I tell you he's never been a threat to my marriage. The problem comes in that I was going to him before talking to my husband and that just wasn't what I truly wanted to do. So, I had to make an effort to not pick up my phone every time John made me mad, but instead go to him. This same concept is the reason I don't tell my female friends when we fight until it's been resolved and also why I have him read my posts before publishing. I don't think ANYONE should know I'm mad at him or why until he does and it's been resolved.
2) I didn't know this before last night, but one of the reasons he no longer hangs out with a good friend of his who was actually our best man in our wedding is his negative attitude. Similar to when women get together, they start belittling their husbands, when men get together they start bashing women. These are simple, seemingly harmless comments, but over time, can cause damage to a relationship, not to mention it's disrespectful. But, I guess one day John decided they made him feel uncomfortable and began hanging around more positive people. I'm glad we talked about this particular instance because I was feeling guilty about John not spending much time with his best friend since we got married. I always felt it was a little my fault.
And finally, I got the chance to apologize for a demeaning comment I made about his career choice shortly before we started this Dd lifestyle. It was way out of line and I probably should have been spanked for it even though we weren't actively practicing Dd at the time. I not only put down his job in a particular area where my career choice and his collide, I brought it up during a party at which we had friends in attendence from both careers. It was his career against mine and involved most people at the party in this less than respectful debate which ended in hurt feelings on both side instead of an agreement to disagree. I'm not really sorry for my feelings on the subject, but I am truly sorry for the way I said it and the way I involved others. I could have been a friendly debate between us and we could have just agreed to disagree and laugh while we shared a drink. That's what we should have done.
After this long, emotional talk on marriage and particularly, our marriage, we finally got to maintenance. It was sweet and romantic (can spanking be sweet and romantic?) Yes there were tears and a little bit of fight, but I felt so warm before during and after the spanking and not just on my bottom though it was there too ;)
I don't get very many punishment spankings so I guess my Dd life is somewhat boring, but I really do desire to be a good wife and I think I just needed that accountability and the reassurance through maintenance to make his dominance known to my inner feminine side which I'm actually enjoying getting to know and I'm sure John's enjoying discovering he married a woman not a guy. :)
Today I feel happy and at peace, calm, loved and very feminine. I hope everyone has a very blessed Easter weekend.
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