From not interested to in love part 2

In the beginning, I would say to people, "I've been seeing this guy but I don't think it's going to work out" or "I don't know how serious this is going to get, but I doubt it goes anywhere".  I had a friend who I would talk to about my relationship and how scared I was. Our conversations went a bit like this

Me: what if he just wants sex

friend: what if he wants a relationship

me: what if he gets to know me better and decides he doesn't want to deal with my temper

friend: what if he's just what you need to reign in that temper (who would have known he was right about that one)

me: what if he just likes me because he's overweight and his ex is overweight, but I'm skinny and cute

friend: do you not like that he's overweight?

me: No! I love it, I've always wanted a teddy bear, I think guys who are skinny or built aren't comfortable

friend: then what if he hates the fact that your skinny but will over look that because you have a good heart

me: you think I have a good heart?

friend: everyone does, give him a fair chance, I think he'll make you happy

 Then I was given a tough decision, I could commute 2 hours 4 days a week or be homeless (I'm not going to go into all the details of this, but it has to do with a gap between the end of my lease and the end of school).  John stepped in and said that my kids and I could stay at his place.  I almost panicked but I swore that it would just be until I got on my feet.  I would move out within a couple of months, get my own place, I didn't plan on staying, really I didn't, and I still wasn't ready for sex yet.  He said all that was fine, he completely understood, but others didn't. 

Our "friend", you know the one who introduced us and created this mess we did not want, she then decided I was using him and that she was a better option.  She invited him on a road trip with her, which he went on, then tried to sleep with him, which he didn't.  She told him that I was sleeping with my ex and that's why I wouldn't have sex with him.  She told me I was being unfair to him, that I would crush him when I moved out and that I was leading him on.  We talked about all the things she was saying, I told him I didn't want to lead him on and that I could move out now if that would be better for him, he insisted we stay.

Then came the infamous camping trip.  There were 3 couples, there was alcohol, there was a camp fire, there was talking, then she started to attack me in front of everybody, calling me out for living with John and not having sex with him, that I was still friends with my ex, that John's life was better before I came in it (wasn't she the one who introduced us when we didn't even want it).  I jumped up and left the group, John came after me and we sat there in the night, in the wilderness and talked and talked and talked.  We completely opened up to each other, that was the day he knew he loved me.  Though it took me a little more time to come to that realization, I began to open my heart up to the idea and he finally had a chance for me to love him, but that's a post for another day

To be continued...