I have anemia caused by an iron deficiency. I've been ordered to take an over the counter iron supplement. This has been required of me for many years, but I've never been good at doing it. I'm not good at taking a pill everyday. I start off really good for a few days, but then I miss a day, then another, then another and before you know it, I'm not taking it anymore. If my life ever depended on me taking a pill everyday, I would die, sad but true. I've tried putting in on my bedside table or by my coffee pot, but to no avail. So, John has decided he's going to enforce it by spanking. I've done really good about it, but I missed taking it for 3 days. Eek!
We've discovered already that I don't do well with the anticipation of a spanking, so he didn't tell me I was getting punished until we were out in the garage and I was bent bare over his knee, not a good time to find out if you ask me, there's no escape at that point. It was the most intense session we've had so far. It was the longest and hardest. I began screaming and squirming from the very beginning. I am not proud of the way I reacted. I actually became mad at him at one point, I was kicking my feet and screaming into the couch and I thought in my head "doesn't he see I'm crying, why isn't he stopping! He's such a jerk!" I think there were some swear words somewhere in there also. Again, I'm not proud of it. The fact is he knew I was mad, but he knew he had to spank through it. He just tightened his grip on me and kept going. He says he notices when I finally submit to him. I think in the heat of the moment (sorry for the pun), I don't, but I know at some point I relax and I'm no longer mad at him. The flight or fight reflex subsides, btw, my flight portion of the reflex is broken, so it's probably a good thing he can hold on tight or I may come up swinging.
Afterward, I feel completely vulnerable and I just need his touch. I need his arms around me while I give myself over to his protection. I feel safe and relaxed. And I went on to work to have a good day (er, night?).
I also remembered to take my iron today.
Yup, those health issues will cook a goose any day. I like to accuse my husband of using the health stuff to "keep me in spankable health". Grr.
ReplyDeleteReading your process and what your head goes through, it's so similar. Maybe it's because you are a Suzie...lol...but really, we all have such similar responses. Sometimes it makes me think that ttwd can't be quite so out of the mainstream as it seems to be. Our responses are so natural and the feelings that come out of them so similar.
Did you take your iron today? :)
Yes Susie, I have taken my iron today :)
DeleteIt's comforting to me to find so many people who are in to ttwd, even if I only see them online. I used to think I was weird, but I found there's a whole lot of weird on the internet (love modern day technology).