Spanking Fail

Yesterday I asked for a spanking.  I don't know why I wanted one and I really didn't want one but I did.  (I'm complicated).  My wonderful husband of course obliged.  We went out and it was a mess.  The kids had gotten into the garage and all our implements were missing except the belt.  We don't have any obvious implements yet.  We had a back brush, a ping pong paddle, a wooden dowel and his belt.  We need to get more, just don't really know what and where.  So, anyway, our limited selection was even more limited for this spanking.

I've said "no" and "please stop" in the past. He used to stop when I said those but we have talked about it and now he uses them as clues that I'm ready for him to increase the intensity.  (I know I'm weird!).  But yesterday I cried a phrase he'd never heard me say before, I told him I didn't want to do this anymore.  He didn't stop but he was so unsure of how I felt.  He didn't know if this fell in the category as the previous statements, so he eased up the intensity and finished a little early.  To be perfectly honest, the spanking had little effect on my attitude.  The pain subsided before he even left for work and my bottom barely remembers it today.  But I'm glad he didn't keep going.  I didn't mean to scare him, but the belt doesn't work well for us OTK and he was missing all over the place.  I honestly didn't feel comfortable.  He did what I asked and didn't stop when I said that, for that I know he listens and cares what I say, but he did lighten up and finish early because it was a new phrase, for that I know he's worried about how I feel and he cares about what I'm going through.

I'm writing this mostly for him, so he knows I still trust him.  So he knows I realize we're both still learning and we're both going to make mistakes.  So he knows I don't want to stop Dd.  I'm glad he listens and watches my body language during a spanking.  We didn't have much time to talk about it last night because he had to rush off to work shortly after the spanking, so we will need to talk so we can move forward.

And we need to get some new implements.