Warning, this is long, I even sidetrack more than once. Feel free to skim or just skip this one completely. There is some spanking at the end though if you do choose to read.
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My husband will never truly understand what I go through on a daily basis with our kids and here's why, when I cook or clean the kids either disappear, stand there staring at me or ask me to do something for them right now despite the fact they can clearly see I'm busy, but when he cooks or cleans he's followed around my little people asking "can I help, Daddy, can I help?" Completely not fair if you ask me. So this has been building for a few days and I'm getting frustrated by it all. Then one morning I get up to cook breakfast for the kids, get them all served and sat in front of the television. Since everyone had gotten up kind of late that morning and I still needed time to eat my breakfast I had decided to extend their morning TV time by a half hour. As I'm settling down at the computer to eat my breakfast everything let loose and chaos ensued. I had to jump up and solve all the world's problems and I hadn't even eaten my breakfast yet. I became very hurt and upset by this. I felt the kids only viewed me as their house maid and not as a person or a member of the family. Then I felt guilty by the way I was feeling. This is all part of being a mom. I began to doubt my abilities as a mom and felt somehow God had made a mistake. I realize God never makes mistakes, but in this instance I felt like he'd ruined these poor kids' lives by making me their mom/step-mom. I spent the rest of the day cleaning the whole house single handedly while the kids did their own thing. By the time John got up I was pretty upset, but I tried to play it off like it was no big deal. I don't like for people to see me as weak, I am superwoman don't you know. Here's the thing, if I say "it's no big deal" then it's probably a big deal and John knows this.
We were supposed to go grocery shopping that evening so John wanted me to see if my mom would watch the kids and cook dinner. Of course she agreed. We didn't go grocery shopping although we did go to a store and bought something. He had decided to surprise me with a date night because apparently I needed it. So first we stopped by a local adult store and bought a new toy which I'm still embarrassed to say what it is and I will turn red from head to toe even if I just type it so I will leave that to your imaginations for now. John here and it is a BUTT PLUG! Then we went to a local Mexican restaurant. As we're sitting there enjoying each other's company and I was relaxing, John's stupid phone rang (a good reason why cell phones have no place on a date) and it was his work wanting him to work the next day on day shift. He asked me to call my mom to see if she'd watch the kids. I was OK with this so far since I worked the next night and would be sleeping during the day. As I'm asking my mom, I say it's from 7-3 and John corrects me saying it's from 7-7. What?! Why 12 hours I thought everyone was working 8 hours now. He explained to me that the particular job he was covering was still on 12s. I was upset to say the least and wouldn't talk to him for the next several seconds.
I'm going to break off that story to share another one that happened on the 4th of July. John came home from work the 3rd and told me he told his co-workers if they got busy on the 4th to call him and he would come help them. Just as we're settling in for the night laying in bed each with beers in our hands going to spend a nice night after getting the kids tucked in they called and he left. I was so mad. Apparently I talk in my sleep when I'm mad because John said I had told him in my sleep that I felt his work family was more important to him then us at home. John said that our surprise date night was to make up for him leaving me on the 4th.
Now for the second time in less than 2 weeks he had agreed to work extra without even talking to me about it first. I felt like he wasn't even taking into consideration what the extra hours did to me emotionally. I think if he'd discussed things with me first I still would have been upset but would have understood, but I felt completely blindsided.
Now, back to our story...
John was getting frustrated and upset that I was shutting him out, he wanted to drag me to the bathroom to spank me then and there but I wasn't being submissive AT ALL. I was hurt and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. He finally got us to talk about it and he promised the next time he would talk to me before he agreed to anything. Not saying he'll never work an extra shift ever again but at least I could be included. And we went on to enjoy the rest of our dinner together. Minus another little upset but this time it wasn't his fault.
Sidetrack again...Another reason cell phones should stay at home while having dates...His phone buzzed with a text message from a strange number reading "this is my new number" so he texted back asking who it was and the reply stated "your favorite ex-wife" Ergh! I hate that woman! Honestly who does she think she is. She's the EX wife, emphasis on EX. I'm his wife and she needs to learn her place. Seriously! When John and I first started getting serious, she would send him pictures from when they were a family and from their wedding. To this day she still tries to find time to talk to him without me and flirt with him. She proceeded to text him about her upcoming nuptial which she utilizes every opening to discuss with him. He soon to be husband is nothing but her boy-toy, that's what he was when she first started playing around with him while she was still married to John and that's really all he ever will be to her. She's only marrying him now because John had the audacity to get remarried and be happy. He just ignored her and texted that he would talk to her the next day. What I really wanted was for him to tell her he was on a date with his WIFE and that he would talk to her the next day.
Okay again back to our story...We managed to finagle a pretty good evening at dinner and went home to enjoy some more couple time. We had a fashion show on our front porch and I must say that I'm pretty impressed with what our girls can design with a sheet and some belts. Then there was a play that re-enacted our proposal and wedding (very inaccurately I must say, but it was cute none the less).
Then after the kids were all tucked in, it was time for some reconnect. OMG this was the first spanking I'd received since we left for our trip. It was long and difficult. He went through every implement in our arsenal. Sometimes he spanked really hard and other times not quite so hard. He tried different positions. He even worked with me on holding position backing up his expectations with extra smacks on my thighs if I were to move. He definitely left his mark with this one. It's been a couple of days and I'm still feeling it. Not to mention the huge embarrassing welt on the back of one of my thighs from when I tried to move out of position. It was good to be pushed, at least now I know I can handle it, which is what John wanted me to see so I wouldn't be so scared in the future. I felt very relaxed and serene the next day. It's amazing how a spanking can do that.
If you've made it this far, congratulations! It was a long rambling post and I apologize for that. I needed to vent a few things while sharing this story. When I get the nerve, I'll tell you about our new toy, but for now, I'm still to embarrassed.
